One of the most important points we address in a divorce process is child custody. As lawyers and judges, we prioritize the well-being or best interests of the minor at all times. However, many myths surround joint custody. In this article, I will explain what joint custody is, the myths surrounding it, and the strategies I provide to negotiate a fair and peaceful custody arrangement.
Joint custody is a modality in which time is divided between the parents and in which the responsibility of raising the children is shared equally: time spent living with them, decision-making, etc. Now, what does this custody modality imply? I always emphasize this in consultations: a high degree of communication and cooperation between the parents.
Some of the myths surrounding it are as follows:
“Joint custody implies spending exactly half the time with each parent.” This is not the case: children do not have to live exactly half the time with each parent, i.e., 50/50. There are many variations, such as the 2-2-3 modality. Very few people know about it, but the time is distributed as follows: considering a week has 7 days, if we opt for this modality, the children would spend 2 days with one parent, 2 days with the other, and then alternate weekends (from Friday to Sunday).
The second myth surrounding it is that “Joint custody is only for parents who get along well.” In many cases, even if the parents do not have a very good relationship, they can reach a joint custody agreement as they prioritize the well-being of their children.
The third myth surrounding joint custody is that “Children always prefer to live with one of the parents.” This is flatly false. It is essential for children to have a stable and balanced relationship with both parents, so sharing time with them has many emotional benefits for everyone and, furthermore, strengthens the relationship with both parents.
Beyond the myths, here are some strategies for negotiating a fair and peaceful joint custody arrangement:
First, try to foster communication and collaboration with the other parent throughout the process. My recommendation is to set aside personal differences and focus on working together with the other parent for your child’s well-being. This will provide greater fluidity to the process.
Secondly, you must take into account the children’s needs and their schedules. Many children have extracurricular activities, for example. We must keep in mind that we may need to be flexible and adapt.
Finally, I recommend that you involve the children in these processes as much as possible. You should listen to them and value their input to also know which joint custody modality would suit them best. Remember that the changes in a divorce do not only affect you but also them. Talking to them about the changes that applying this type of custody will entail will have a positive impact on everyone.
If you are considering agreeing on joint custody, remember that it is a custody modality that benefits both children and parents. However, for this model to work successfully, good communication, adaptation, and flexibility are required among everyone at all times.
Anna Nicolàs Torán
Expert Family Law Attorney
M&C Abogados
